Preschool Pretty: Growing Up Too Fast?

by Marye Audet on June 26, 2012

girl with makeup

Maybe it has increased with the increasing popularity of pre-school pageants but there seems to be an increasing need to take preschool girls and create mini-teenagers.

  • Earlier this year a New Jersey woman had charges brought against her when her six year old became sunburned in a tanning salon.
  • Hair extensions for children as young as three and four are becoming more commonplace.
  • Pre-school girls are increasingly wearing lip gloss and nail polish.
  • It is not unusual, at least in my area, to see elementary children with highlights.
  • Fashions for young children mimic those created for teenagers.

I just know that seeing a three year old with lip gloss and hair extensions bothers me – a lot. Three year olds should be watching Bugs Bunny and playing with dolls, Candyland, and blocks. They shouldn’t be thinking about Justin Bieber, boys in general, or if their butt looks too big in their new Juicy Couture togs.

Really, save that insecurity for later.

It seems to me that we dress the littlest girls up like mini fashion dolls and parade them around, encouraging them about how adorable they are. Then when they are teens we tell them to be themselves, outward beauty doesn’t matter, and not to obsess over how they look.

Double minded much?

I remember sitting down to family dinners when I was a child. Certain things didn’t change. Children had a glass of milk, a protein, a starch, and vegetables. You ate them before you were allowed dessert – even the overcooked spinach (On behalf of the spinach, it was overcooked. I happen to adore it now).

A child drinking a latte was unheard of – as a parent you would have been on the B list at every party in the neighborhood, right down there with the guy that mowed the yard in his boxers at 5 a.m. Now it seems that certain coffee shops are catering to the caffeine needs of the under six crowd.

“Had a rough night last night. Dreamed a purple dinosaur was trying to pull out my extensions. Gimme a skinny latte with a double shot of espresso, please.”

Children are being pushed into adulthood so fast it is no wonder that many young adults stand blinking in confusion at their future. They are still trying to orient themselves in the blur of motion that happened between age four and age twenty-four.

It used to be that certain things happened at certain stages in your life. You looked forward to these events with great anticipation –

  1. Being trusted to stay home alone
  2. Being trusted by a neighbor to babysit
  3. Allowed to take calls from boys
  4. First boy girl dance
  5. Heels
  6. Makeup
  7. Dating
  8. Driver’s license

They happened in logical order. Nowadays not so much. A few months ago my daughter was incredulous as she answered her cell phone. A boy was asking to speak to my granddaughter who is ten. He was calling from his cell phone and thought that it was my granddaughter’s number (she does not have her own cell phone). It caught my daughter by surprise – she wasn’t expecting to have to think about her daughter’s social life so soon.

I am not sure why it is happening. I am only sure that I want to protect my children and grandchildren from the unfairness of having to grow up before they are ready.

What are your thoughts on the trend toward pre-school pretty?

photo credit: javcon117

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Tagged as: Children, children growing up too fast, Clothing, dress up, make up, Parenting, Parenting Tips

  • http://32in32.com/ Pauline Hawkins

    It’s so sad. I went on a field trip with my son, and I saw first grade girls wearing eye shadow and mascara. It has to start with the mom being happy with how she looks, so she can let her beautiful, makeup-less, little girl be happy with how she looks. It also goes back to entitlement with this generation; there will be no such thing as a rite of passage anymore. These children are getting whatever they want without having to wait or earn it.

  • http://twitter.com/literalmom Missy Bedell

    I agree – things have changed so much and not in a good way. It’s too fast for kids, I believe.

  • http://twitter.com/AlyGatrS Alyssa S

    I don’t think kids have changed. I remember being 5 and begging to wear my mom’s plum lipstick..and her telling me no. I think it’s natural for kids to want to experience those things we tell them they are too young to do or have. What’s changed is some parents’ seeming inability to say no. I cried for two days when my Mom told me I couldn’t wear the makeup someone gave me for my birthday in the 7th grade. The rule was “no makeup until you’re 16″ and she stuck to it. Of course I resented it for about five minutes, but I got over it. It just feels like a lot of parents value being considered “cool” for letting their kids do these things rather than sticking to their guns and saying “no, you’re too young”.

  • Tori

    I think it is definitely natural for children, especially young girls to want to experiment with their looks at an early age, most of them see their own mothers do it, after all. I believe it would be safe to say that kids today watch a whole lot more TV..and probably a good bit of it is not “child friendly” and I can only imagine what kind of ideals that puts into their minds. I honestly feel that make-up, hair extensions, revealing clothing, and all the above mentioned are exploitative and more than fun and games, it’s teaching young girls to use their appearance to get what they want, that being “cute” is more important than being polite or learning to think for themselves. I despise pageants, because to me they are nothing but food for the egos of materialistic, superficial parents. My mother made sure that both of my sisters and I looked presentable in clean, ironed, and color-coordinated clothes that fit us properly, even if she had to make them herself (which a lot of them, she did). My big thing was my hair, and I feel awful now thinking of all the mornings I pitched a fit for her to redo my hair because one little hair came loose. Aside from that, we didn’t play “dress-up”, we climbed trees. We didn’t watch MTV (we didn’t have cable), we colored and played house and school and used our imaginations and were KIDS. We put on puppet shows at nursing homes instead of trotting down runways in baby heels. Even as a teenager, what made my mom say “You’re not going out of the house looking like that” is what moms today seem to be encouraging. If you want your kids to “express” themselves, let them go outside and play in the mud, let them paint..often..and not on their faces. Let them help cook. All of these are creative and constructive. If your child wants something that isn’t a necessity (in this case, a new hairbow, dress, purse, etc.) let them help around the house/yard or how about just being minding their manners all week, and let them earn it. I would even suggest allowance at a young age. Using money and understanding the value of objects is important and inevitable. Kids want to learn, they want to mimic, but they also want to be themselves. Let them do that by allowing them the freedom of childhood. Give them options. Be honest with them. But they want, and need, YOU to be the parent, to set rules and be consistent with reward AND punishment.

  • Kristen @ busykidshappymom.org

    I remember playing with my mom’s things as a girl – but never wearing them in public. I think that getting girls all done up at an early age is feeding their fears and insecurities. I had to wait until a certain age (dictated by my parents) before I was allowed to wear make-up. I think parents are too afraid to say no.

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