Help! My Teen Dyed Her Hair Purple!

Posted on Jan 17, 2013 by 2 Comments
Help! My Teen Dyed Her Hair Purple!

No one ever said raising kids would be easy, and when it comes to teenagers, it can feel like it is downright impossible.

Being overly strict and controlling often results in insecure kids who eventually rebel in a big way, and being too lenient can result in wild kids who end up in jail or worse. Even if you are the perfectly balanced parent there are no guarantees.

What’s a parent to do?

The best advice I can give you is to pick your battles carefully; have as few rules as possible, but hold fast to the ones you have.

The funny thing is that I have seen parents who really stress about how their kids look and to me (within reason) this is the last area I want to recreate Custer’s last stand.

Keep in mind that it’s during these years that teens learn who they are, what they like, and they develop a unique style and confidence that will carry them through adulthood. While you don’t want your teen daughter wearing micro-thong bikinis, allowing her to have most of the say-so in her wardrobe and make-up choices is the way to go.

My personal philosophy is that if it isn’t indecent, it isn’t permanent, and it isn’t crass, it’s o.k. My two oldest daughters (one is past her teen years at this point) have had so many different hair colors that sometimes it’s hard to remember what their natural color is – but I am pretty sure it isn’t hot pink.

The 17 year old has had hot pink, purple, blue, black, blonde, brown, streaks, and once she had turquoise + hot pink+ cobalt blue.

I did not die of embarrassment and she has not, so far, turned to a life of crime.

Too much of the time we see our kids as reflections of who we are and how we parent. Nothing could be further from the truth. Our children are individuals, and our job is to guide them to adulthood, not stamp them out in our own image, the image of who we wish we were, or even the image of who our peers think they should be.

Purple hair is one of those things that kids grow out of eventually. They may take on something else that you dislike as much or worse, but happily, they will eventually grow out of that as well.

We tell children not to judge people by how they look, and then we spend most of our time trying to make our teens conform to a certain look because “you look like a thug” or whatever. Which is it, Mom?  Do we judge people by how the look or not?

As parents, it is imperative that we show acceptance and pride in our kids. They have a whole world out there to criticize them – they sure don’t need it at home.

You don’t have to gush and lie and say you adore their purple hair or newly pierced belly button, but at least smile and tell that that you think they are awesome even though that new look isn’t your favorite.

When teens are accepted at home, they are more likely to extend acceptance to others. You want to know why bullying has become such a problem? Go to any mall or store and listen to how parents speak to their kids!

photo credit: ⊰❀ A Garden Waltz ❀⊱ via photopin cc

Posted in: Parenting
Marye Audet

Marye Audet is an author, freelance writer, and editor. As a work at home mom she has a unique perspective that encompasses the overwhelming deadlines and commitments of the professional woman as well as the constantly changing needs of a homeschooling mom with a large family. She is the author of one cook book and the creator of Restless Chipotle Media, a network consisting of two food based blogs, a blog for “women of a certain age”, a video site on Youtube, and upcoming blog on kitchen decor, and downloadable eBooks. Marye also is a freelance writer, editor, and book reviewer.

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  • Julie C.

    Agreed. If it isn’t permanent, I will consider it. I dyed my own hair as a teen, so I’d just caution them to have enough money to fix it if they hate it, and check they won’t get fired from their jobs or be ridiculed by their friends before doing it. And I’d also try and make it an incentive – like a reward for good marks, etc.


    I know of a girl now in her mid 20s, who while in high school had pink hair and 9 piercings in the cartilage of each ear. She turned out very well from what I understand, never drank or did drugs, makes excellent money as a geologist and even bought herself her own small airplane. I think hair color… is just an experiment in self expression, and not necessarily rebellion.