Is it possible to be friends with your spouse’s ex?
There are so many divorces and remarriages today that almost every family is impacted. In my not-so-humble opinion, one of the most uncomfortable relationships has to be between the present wife and the ex-wife. It can be extremely difficult to deal with feelings of competition, jealousy, and just plain weirdness.
I could never be friends with my ex-husband’s girlfriend. She was the catalyst for ending my 30 year marriage – and although I feel that the divorce may have been inevitable, I hate the fact that it was an affair and betrayal that cast the final blow.
On the other hand, my husband’s ex-wife is easy to get along with – we recently did a graduation party for my stepdaughter together and it was fun. Yet, it is still an uncomfortable relationship – at least on my part.
I think that it is a difficult thing for most people because this person probably knows your spouse better than you do. There is an intimacy that they have between them that you may not have had time to develop. And, just maybe, there is a tiny fear that whatever chemistry drew them together in the first place might reignite unexpectedly.
Then there is the stepchild issue. If your stepchild likes you it can make mom feel displaced at times. If your stepchild doesn’t like you, mom might unwittingly (or even intentionally) encourage disrespect. You may or may not agree on parenting styles and there may be unspoken rules that you know nothing about.
I am relatively new to this so I would love some insight. Is it possible to be friends with the ex-wife? What tips do you have?
photo credit: MoodBoardPhotography
