Elf on a Shelf Creeps Me Out

Posted on Dec 24, 2012 by No Comments
Elf on a Shelf Creeps Me Out

When I was six, my dad took me shopping for a Christmas gift for my mom. It was a longstanding tradition – Christmas shopping at Grants, a burger at the lunch counter while twirling on the stools, and finally a hot pretzel with yellow mustard served in a greasy paper, right out of the cart of the chilly man outside the store.

That’s the stuff memories are made of.

During this particular trip, I saw, and fell in love with, two elvish ornaments. This was long before elf on the shelf. I didn’t think they were sent from Santa – everyone knows Santa just knows about you. He did not need to pull them from the busy assembly line to keep an eye on kids.

They were just cute elves – and they hang on my tree to this day, a whole 45 years later. They still don’t tattle.

Elf on the Shelf just creeps me out. I know it is a growing tradition, but to me it is not a healthy one. Maybe I am over-analyzing it. No doubt I am over analyzing it. I just have always hated pulling the Santa is watching card with kids.

I mean, really? I am a mom; no offense but I don’t need Santa to back me up, thank you. I have options.

I just feel that if my kids think I need back up, then my credibility as a mom who can cause your life to be Pure D. Hell is lessened. And I thrive on the horror stories my older kids pass down to the younger ones in hushed tones. Reputation is everything.

So, getting an overpriced elf who is supposedly active only at night really bugs me. I once saw the Night Gallery episode where a creepy doll came alive only at night and killed people, by the way. I can handle Santa watching from his magic TV at the North Pole, but I do not want some creepy elf sneaking around my house when I am trying to sleep.

I also think that some very creative children (like mine) would begin blaming random acts on the elf. All of the ice cream gone? The elf did it. Spilled soda in the dining room? The elf was stealing my sodas. Toys on the floor?

The elf, of course.

I can’t see myself moving an elf around my house from day to day. I really do well to let the dogs out regularly. I had to come clean about the tooth fairy because I kept forgetting that there was a tooth under someone’s pillow – and once I forgot whose pillow it was under. Things happen when you get old.

I am not sure how I could explain that the elf was still sitting on the Christmas tree. “Sorry, honey, your elf has sprained his ankle and the elf doctor said he must stay totally still this season. No, not even flying.”

We have seen the little Christmas special and, like other Christmas television specials, we enjoy it.  It’s just that this tradition is one I think I will sit out. Deborah has another take on the whole Elf thing that you might like to read, How to Do Elf on the Shelf Properly.

How do you feel about the Elf on the Shelf?

photo credit: marye audet

Posted in: Parenting
Marye Audet

Marye Audet is an author, freelance writer, and editor. As a work at home mom she has a unique perspective that encompasses the overwhelming deadlines and commitments of the professional woman as well as the constantly changing needs of a homeschooling mom with a large family. She is the author of one cook book and the creator of Restless Chipotle Media, a network consisting of two food based blogs, a blog for “women of a certain age”, a video site on Youtube, and upcoming blog on kitchen decor, and downloadable eBooks. Marye also is a freelance writer, editor, and book reviewer.

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