Do You Fight in Front of the Kids?

Posted on Nov 12, 2012 by 2 Comments
Do You Fight in Front of the Kids?

Every couple has arguments, and more than likely a few of them get pretty intense. How do you feel about arguing in front of your kids?

I go two ways on this, so I am not going to be much help in forming an opinion.

On the one hand, I grew up in a family where a knock down-drag out battle could (and did) occur at any moment no matter where we were or who was there. I think to an extent it was emotionally damaging. I was left feeling like I had to protect my parents from each other and placed myself smack in the center as the peacekeeper between them.

On the other hand, I was determined that my marriage was not going to be that way. I determined that I would not disagree unless it was a major issue, and then I would only verbally spar in private with my husband but never in front of the kids.

Well, that blew up. After 30 years we got an abrupt and rather violent divorce, leaving many of the people around us shell shocked because they hadn’t seen us argue and therefore our marriage was perfect – which it was as long as I played nice.

Looking back on all of that, I feel that the healthiest relationships are those where there is mutual respect and tough skin.

You should save the really intense arguments for private but there is nothing wrong with heated disagreement with your kids as an audience. It makes them have more of a realistic view of how a relationship works.

How do you handle fighting with your partner?

photo credit: Cloned Milkmen

Posted in: Parenting
Marye Audet

Marye Audet is an author, freelance writer, and editor. As a work at home mom she has a unique perspective that encompasses the overwhelming deadlines and commitments of the professional woman as well as the constantly changing needs of a homeschooling mom with a large family. She is the author of one cook book and the creator of Restless Chipotle Media, a network consisting of two food based blogs, a blog for “women of a certain age”, a video site on Youtube, and upcoming blog on kitchen decor, and downloadable eBooks. Marye also is a freelance writer, editor, and book reviewer.

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Comments

  • http://www.adventuresinbabywearing.com/ Adventures In Babywearing

    We don’t do it enough- I think there is a healthy amount to arguing, but we never fight in front of the kids, and really try to diffuse any argument while still talking nicely about it.

    Steph

  • Ruby T.

    I have no problem “disagreeing” with my husband in front of the kids so they learn how you can have a difference of opinion with someone you love and figure out how to resolve it or live with it as a normal part of life.

    I do insist that any real arguments take place out of earshot and I always stay on topic and don’t stray from the point or to take cheap shots.