Every couple has arguments, and more than likely a few of them get pretty intense. How do you feel about arguing in front of your kids?
I go two ways on this, so I am not going to be much help in forming an opinion.
On the one hand, I grew up in a family where a knock down-drag out battle could (and did) occur at any moment no matter where we were or who was there. I think to an extent it was emotionally damaging. I was left feeling like I had to protect my parents from each other and placed myself smack in the center as the peacekeeper between them.
On the other hand, I was determined that my marriage was not going to be that way. I determined that I would not disagree unless it was a major issue, and then I would only verbally spar in private with my husband but never in front of the kids.
Well, that blew up. After 30 years we got an abrupt and rather violent divorce, leaving many of the people around us shell shocked because they hadn’t seen us argue and therefore our marriage was perfect – which it was as long as I played nice.
Looking back on all of that, I feel that the healthiest relationships are those where there is mutual respect and tough skin.
You should save the really intense arguments for private but there is nothing wrong with heated disagreement with your kids as an audience. It makes them have more of a realistic view of how a relationship works.
How do you handle fighting with your partner?
photo credit: Cloned Milkmen
