Confronting the Friend that Always Cancels
As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized that my list of “friends” has dwindled.
You wouldn’t know it if you look at my Facebook page … in fact, I look pretty darn popular. But there’s a big difference between “friends” and “acquaintances.”
Can anyone here relate?
So what happens when one of your real friends (or even a family member) starts canceling plans … all the time? Do you take it personally? Just stop returning phone calls? Ask her about it?
Or just pretend it doesn’t matter?
This is such a tricky question; particularly when it’s a close friend. And how you answer it may depend on your personality.
But if you choose to confront her, how do you do it?
Tread lightly. Start by telling her how much you appreciate her friendship and enjoy spending time together. And gently let her know that it’s frustrating that she always cancels at the last minute. If you need to lighten the mood, try telling her that going out for a drink with her is the only way to escape your kids.
But however you say it, let her know you’re entirely serious, but you can do it without being all mother-hen scolding, too. You can just tell her simply that you really hope you’ll be able to keep plans in the future because you enjoy her company.
It’s also important to stress that you make plans for sitters or time away from the family or projects based on the plans you make with her; canceling at the last minute really throws a wrench in everyone’s night, not just yours.
If she cancels again, you’ll have to use your best judgement to decide if you just want to stop making plans altogether.
What has your experience been with chronic cancelers? How have you approached them?