One of the things you hear a lot when you have a big family is that inevitable question, Ã¢â‚¬Å“Are they all yours?Ã¢â‚¬Â
Sometimes the question comes sweetly during a casual conversation at the store but many times the question is abrupt and rude. When that happens, my sarcasm tends to kick in and some of the answers are as ridiculous as the question itself. Because really, how many women who are eight months pregnant are going to waddle around the mall with five or six neighborhood kids in tow?
See what I mean? If you really must ask do it in a friendly way. Try, Ã¢â‚¬Å“What a fabulous group of kids! Are they all yours?Ã¢â‚¬Â
Most of us are compelled to love anyone who compliments our brood.
Having a large family poses many interesting moments in public. There is just nothing like watching a bystander count children as they get out of the van in the parking lot or look on incredulously as your family takes up an entire row in the movie theater.
ThereÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s also nothing like sitting down with everyone and just talking, always having someone to play games with, and always having a support group Ã¢â‚¬â€œ no matter what is going on in your life.
LetÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s face it. For whatever reason, big families have a special bond.
Over the years I have come up with a few answers that I feel deserve to be bronzed and hung in a public place as an inspiration for Moms of Many everywhere.
- No, they arenÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t all mine. I spilled peanut butter on myself and it attracted all the kids in the neighborhood.
- Are what all mine? (In order to pull this off you have to be able to really look like you have no clue you are surrounded by children.)
- Why, do you see one you want? I can cut you a deal.
- I am not sure, I thought I only had one when I came in here.
- Yes, they are kinda like potato chips, arenÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t they? You canÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t just stop at one.
- All mine? Can one ever be sure?
- I think so. How many ARE there, anyway?
- Nope, but donÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t tell the Welfare office, O.K.?
Another question you will invariably get if you have a larger than normal family is some variation on the theme of Ã¢â‚¬Å“Do you know what causes that?Ã¢â‚¬Â
Personally I find this question degrading and rude. Really? A complete stranger is comfortable asking me about my sexual knowledge?
- Yes, I do and I think I am getting better at it.
- Yes. Wine and an empty stomach.
- I think I have it figured out but I think Mom was wrong about the bees.
- Yep. Shopping at VictoriaÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s Secret Ã¢â‚¬â€œ I think I have an allergy.
- Not a clue. Do you have any ideas?
- Vacation days?
- Pretty sure it has to do with the city water. It happened to my neighbor, too.
Yes, they are all mine. Yes, I know what causes that. And I am glad.
photo credit: Griffhome